My Story

The Beginning

Born 22 November 1994 in Rishikesh to a Hindu father and mother, in a household led by my Sikh god-grandfather, originally from Beas, Amritsar. He had married my grandmother when my father was only two years old.

My father was born in Kansi, Uttarakhand, and my mother in Bhenti, Uttarakhand. They met through my real grandfather from Chinyalisour.

My grandfather requested that my mother let my hair grow and that I follow Sikhism, which she agreed to. When I was two years old, we moved to Ponta Sahib (H.P). I began attending Dashmesh Public School, located next to our house.

On 11 August 1996, my first sister, Simran, was born. We lived in a two-bedroom house with a small stationery and candy shop at the front.

I remember meeting Amal and Ankit on my first day at Mission School and hugging them as my first two friends. Pawa Mam was my class teacher, and we passed out in March 1998. In KG, I met Sanjot, and in first class, I met Mayank and Abhikaran.

Things at home weren’t always easy. My parents often argued, and I remember one incident when my father threw a rolling pin at my mother during an argument, hitting her face and causing her nose to bleed. Their arguments sometimes turned violent, with my father beating my mother and occasionally us as well. Around this time, my second sister, Nikita, was born.

We now had a local STD/ISD calling booth alongside the candy shop and had moved into a two-bedroom home behind the shops. My god-grandfather moved in with us, while my grandmother often visited from Rishikesh, or I would spend my holidays there.

Growing Up in Ponta Sahib

On 23 March 2003, during my third-year school holidays, we watched the India vs. Australia final cricket match live together in Rishikesh.

I was getting good grades in all my subjects, but things started to change when I entered fifth year. It was our first time using pens, and my grades soon began to drop. Around the same time, a girl in my class named Aman told me she found me cute. My classmate Amal lived nearby, and I would sometimes sneak out to visit him. He played 50 Cent’s “In Da Club” on his speakers, which sparked my first real curiosity about music.

In sixth year, our school held an annual function, and I chose to play a freedom fighter—my first stage performance. I remember watching a Bhagat Singh movie, seeing his picture, and thinking, “That’s me.”

With my family, we travelled to several historic Gurdwaras across Punjab, including the Golden Temple and Jallianwala Bagh in Amritsar. Looking at the bricks on the walls of Jallianwala Bagh, I remember thinking, “I’ve seen all this before, but I’ve never actually been here.”

Around this time, we had moved to the first floor, and my father bought me a new silver bicycle. Next to our house was a field where I learned to ride it and played football and cricket with my friends from Bank Colony. Our downstairs tenant had an NES-style 8-bit gaming console, and I would often go downstairs to play video games too.

The first time I rode my bicycle on the public road, with cars passing by, I made my way to the main market near the bus stand. There, I saw a large crowd gathered to see Dalip Singh Rana, better known as The Great Khali, before he became world famous.

On 7 April 2006, The Great Khali made his WWE debut and soon became a huge topic at school after defeating The Undertaker. While playing cricket daily in Bank Colony behind our house, we would talk about how he was from our district, Sirmaur, and had become world famous. Around this time, I had decided to become a cricketer.

In seventh year, I took Punjabi as an additional language but only managed passing grades. I sat with Sanjot, who often made me laugh, while Shaheen Khan, a new student, became my first crush. Teachers later moved me to sit with her hoping it would help improve my grades.

In eighth year, I spent my time after school playing cricket with my friends and got to know my neighbour, Yonathan Toppo, who played cricket and tabla at the Sunday Jesus prayer gatherings hosted by his family. He sometimes came over and taught me a few tabla skills. The following year, I hoped to move to a hostel in Rishikesh (Dehradun) to pursue cricket and instrument classes side by side, but the plan never worked out.

In Rishikesh, our family owned around 30–31 acres of land, most of which was eventually sold, leaving only our house and a small piece of land. The money from the sale was used to purchase another 8–9 acres of farmland in Dhalipur, Uttarakhand.

In ninth year, we got a strict class teacher, Chawla Sir, so I made sure to keep up with my maths homework, although I was often distracted in class and would copy it from my neighbour, Kunal, every day. Mayank and I sat together, and one day I told him about my dream of playing cricket for India. He shared the same dream but reminded me that only 11 players could make the team, which was difficult for me to accept. He later introduced me to his neighbour Prince from Ludhiana, who worked at a music studio. Prince played me Sharry Mann’s “Yaar Anmulle,” and I loved it, so I told him I wanted to learn music production and recording.

We started running a Reliance franchise selling SIM cards and phones, and my father gave me an iPod where I added many songs. Imran Khan’s “Amplifier” really caught my attention, so I printed the lyrics and started learning them.

Around then, Mayank and I would play cricket early in the mornings. One day after cricket, he gave me a CD filled with English songs, which I listened to later at our newly opened Dewsoft computer centre while playing GTA: San Andreas. Meanwhile, my parents were busy attending Dewsoft seminars, starting with their first one in Banga, Punjab.

Arguments at home continued almost every day. During the holidays, I went to Rishikesh to visit Ram Chacha, whose family had lived with my Sikh grandfather before my parents got married. He now ran a Himalayan Yog Ashram in Tapovan. I went there alone and took public transport for the first time in my life.

On 20 February 2009, my grandmother died from an illness, and I moved into a separate room next to my grandfather. Tarun visited me daily, keeping me busy as I became increasingly interested in listening to songs on computers and iPods.

My parents bought me a new DTB bike, which I rode to school, but soon stopped because I didn’t really enjoy cycling there. Sometimes I took the bus or simply walked home. Around this time, Ankit, my first friend, was teaching me how to ride a motorbike also.

Music had brought a new sense of swag into my life, and Tarun encouraged me to step up my fashion, so I got a few pairs of jeans tailored.

Finding Music

One night, while lying in bed and scrolling through my iPod, I came across “Mockingbird.” The lyrics about mom and papa, along with the way he delivered the rap and controlled his breath, immediately caught my attention. I played it repeatedly throughout the night, and for the first time, I felt certain that this was what I wanted to do with my life. I didn’t even know it was Eminem until I printed the lyrics.

I started digging deeper into rap and hip-hop music. My father got an old laptop from a footballer and gave it to me along with a pair of speakers, so I downloaded around 500 hip-hop songs through torrents and created playlists to play on them.

As I discovered songs I liked, I would go to our computer centre to print out their lyrics. I discovered artists like Soulja Boy, Lil Wayne, Drake and Kanye West, but Eminem’s music connected with me the most, so I downloaded his full catalog.

By tenth year, I recorded my first-ever vocals over Eminem’s “The Way I Am” instrumental, spitting his lyrics as a freestyle. It came out so well that some people thought it was Eminem, even though I recorded it using a cheap headphone mic. I spoke to my mom about getting a proper mic, and she gave me ₹8,000, which I used to buy a Samson USB condenser mic.

I printed several wallpapers of my favourite rappers and singers from our computer academy and decorated my room walls with them.

Becoming a Rapper

MySpace and Facebook were becoming popular, and I saw them as a great way to connect with people and share music. One morning while I was off school, I received a friend request from Ayeshmantha Lakmal, a producer from Sri Lanka. He sent me a link to his YouTube beats, and one called “A Dark Day” immediately inspired me to work with him. He later sent me many more beats, most of which I loved. We agreed I would pay ₹2,000–₹3,000 for the beats I wanted to use, which I sent through the post office.

I recorded songs like “Insane” over “A Dark Day,” which became popular among my friends. I also used beats from Jee Juh and eventually collaborated with D Stackx and Mista Killa Flowz on “Haters,” which D Stackx released on YouTube.

While India’s hip-hop scene was becoming increasingly active, with many underground rappers making moves, I was more drawn to the Western style. I added people from the United States on Facebook, and regular conversations with them, along with listening to rap music, helped improve my English drastically.

Since my parents never gave me pocket money, I started taking small amounts from my mother’s locker and the temple at home, mostly for samosa parties with friends. Once, I even took a gold chain from my grandfather’s locker while he was at the gurdwara, which my grandmother had saved for my future wife.

School, Love & Trouble

School life was still boring, but I had started liking Rashika Negi, whose batch had recently moved from the Devi Nagar branch. Amal, who had dropped out in sixth year, was in her class, so I asked him to ask her out for me, but she completely rejected me. Abhikaran then suggested I approach her myself. I did, after school, and she ended up giving me her number. I accidentally called her, and she called back. From then on, we started talking regularly. On 3 March 2010, I told her I loved her, and we shared our first kiss later that month.

The girls in the Devi Nagar section were popular, so I started attracting attention from other guys who liked Rashika. Ekam and Pulkit, both well-known cricketers, already disliked me and became even more hostile because of our relationship. Pulkit and I were both known for our fast bowling, and I played my first leather-ball cricket in the Shivaji Trophy.

Around this time, Virender, who lived and worked with us, gave me his Motorola phone. My parents later bought me a Micromax Q5, but it didn’t last long. Eventually, I got a Samsung Galaxy Grand, which became my main phone for social media and music. Sanjot had a DSLR, and we often went out taking pictures to upload on Facebook. I had cut my previously long hair down to neck length and mostly wore snapbacks.

Arguments at home continued, and my father sometimes hit my mother and me. Things became so intense that my mom nearly took her own life, but something stopped her. Things calmed down afterward, around the time she became pregnant with Jessica.

Tarun’s friend Shiva, known for fighting, became our new tenant. He was in 10th E, a section so notorious that the principal said he had never seen a batch like it in his 25–35 years of service. I was in Section D but mostly hung out with students from E.

After performing poorly in the pre-boards, teachers assigned us two hours of extra classes after school. I always skipped them with the 10th E students and only got caught when Gullu missed out. One time, I skipped school and spent the whole day at Amal’s house watching 3 Idiots.

We had our 10th board exams, and before each one I would visit the temple and chant a whole Rudraksha. The exams went smoothly overall, but I was so weak in Maths that I ended up copying the entire exam from the roll number ahead of mine.

On the last exam day, as students were leaving, Shiva confronted Ekam and Pulkit, who were also after Rashika and had been threatening Shiva’s friend using fake numbers. What started as an argument by the roadside escalated when I pushed Pulkit, leading to a big brawl. A few guys were about to jump me until Karan Jeet stopped them. Guys from different schools and age groups got involved. I called Virender for backup, but in the end, only two guys from each side ended up fighting near Sabzi Mandi.

After that, boys started talking about me. Almost every day, someone would pick me up and take me on free bike rides to Rashika’s colony, Devi Nagar. It was a hangout spot for a lot of guys because several other girls lived there too. While hanging out there one day, we saw The Great Khali, who was back from WWE to visit his family. They lived right across from Rashika’s house.

We saw The Great Khali again at Pal Residency Hotel when I went out for dinner with Sanjot and Abhikaran. We tried to take a picture with him in his hotel room, but the slots were already booked.

On May 28, 2010, I passed with 56.5%. For 11th grade, I decided to move to DAV School, which was quite popular for its notorious students. At 16, I got my learner’s license and a Honda gearless scooter, which I used to ride to school.

Then, on July 3, Jessica was born. It was my first time seeing a newborn baby. Everyone’s attention shifted to Jessica, and for a while, the drama at home temporarily settled.

Recovery by Eminem was everywhere in 2010 and quickly became one of the biggest albums of the year. Around the same time, I continued writing and recording my own songs, sending them to friends to hear. I also made a video cover of the Wiz Khalifa and 2 Chainz Fast & Furious track for YouTube, but never actually put it out.

I was gaining a reputation as an English rapper. Once, outside the Gurudwara to pick up my grandfather, I saw Ekam and his friends and freestyled about cricket, which they really enjoyed.

Through Jeevanjot from 10th E, I met a group at the Gurudwara whom nobody messed with. I cleaned Ponta Sahib Gurudwara with them on weekends, and they also had connections in Devi Nagar. A group of guys from Rashika’s colony once stopped me for her number, but backed off after learning about my connections there.

During my DAV days, I wasn’t in much contact with Rashika after her parents caught me at their home while they were away. They took her phone, but I later found out she had been talking to other guys on Facebook. Barely focused on school, skipping classes almost every other day to hang out with friends from DAV and Mission School. As a result, I failed every subject in my first midterms.

Around this time, I started taking rapping and performing more seriously. In February 2011, just before the final exams, we had a farewell for our 12th-grade seniors. With Shubham Rana on guitar, I gave my first vocal performance, singing Sum 41’s Pieces and rapping Eminem’s Mockingbird.

Through my connections, I met some guys involved in gang conflicts with another local group. The rivalry eventually led to the brutal killing of three people from Heerpur. On March 24–25, 2011, they damaged Civil Hospital property, and despite it being the busy Holi festival, the whole town was placed under curfew. The incident was widely covered in the news. A couple of guys I used to hang out with were arrested soon after and sentenced to 6 and 14 years in Nahan prison. After that, the town became much more peaceful, and we barely heard about fights or brawls.

When the exam results came out, I had terribly failed 11th grade. The principal asked for my parents to be called in, but my father was friends with him, so they talked it out and the principal allowed me to continue into 12th grade.

At several Dewsoft seminars, I began performing songs I had recorded over beats by Ayeshmantha and Jee Juh. People didn’t always understand the lyrics, but they still appreciated the performances.

Ayeshmantha showed on Facebook how he made beats in FL Studio and told me it was easy. He gave me a cracked copy, and I started experimenting with different sounds. Everything sounded amateur at first, but I was determined to make my own beat for my first official video, so I kept practicing.

By mid-2011, after listening to hundreds of instrumentals, I started trying to recreate the beats I liked. Nothing sounded professional, but after roughly 100 attempts, I picked my five best beats. The fifth one finally sounded decent, with a vibe like Tyga and The Game’s “Switch Lanes.”

Day-night cricket and football tournaments were underway, so I brought my team along. I bowled the batsman out with my first ball, and after a strong performance, gained recognition in the local cricket community.

In February 2012, I gave my second school stage performance, rapping over Lloyd Banks’ Warrior Part 2 instrumental. With my 12th-grade board exams approaching, I started taking studies seriously. The exams were held at a Tibetan school, where I also freestyled for some Tibetan girls. My English and handwriting were strong, and I only needed to pass Accounts. On exam day, roll number one, helped me with it.

Leaving India

After the exams, I got back to rapping and started writing more. To pursue music, I knew I needed to move out of India. My father promised to fund my education abroad if I scored over 60%.

I moved to Mohali, Punjab to study IELTS from 3B2 with Ankit’s brother and lived as a paying guest. On May 28, 2012, our 12th-grade board results came out. I scored 70%, the highest in our Commerce section, and my name appeared in the local newspaper. I continued IELTS classes at Grey Matters in Sector 17.

Three months later, I returned to Ponta Sahib. Now 18 and allowed to drive, I learned how a car worked and released the clutch perfectly on my first attempt. After driving through Paonta’s main bazaar, I quickly became comfortable behind the wheel.

A friend from DAV hosted his birthday party at a hotel, and I later threw mine at our computer centre. It was the last time I hung out with my DAV classmates.

At home, my parents were still arguing almost daily. A girl, who worked at our computer centre, took a day off one day, and my father was also missing that day. Later, I saw him secretly dropping her back home and found out they were having an affair.

I told my mother, who confronted him, and the situation got out of control, with my mother eventually hitting her. Her family later arranged a meeting where my father sided with her and threatened my mother, warning her never to step into the computer centre again or he would cut her legs off. I found this deeply disrespectful and took my mother to the police station to file a complaint.

The DSP, who knew my father, called him to the station and warned him never to lay a hand on my mother again. After the FIR was filed, my mother decided to divorce my father, and the case went to court.

As a backup, I enrolled at DAV College in Dehradun. I went there once, saw a fight where someone’s head was covered in blood, and decided to drop out.

Back home, I kept refining my beat-making skills on FL Studio. My schoolmates would visit, and I would rap for them or show them beats I was working on. Local rappers were also starting to look up to me.

Entering 2013, I focused entirely on the IELTS exam. I bought books online, prepared on my own, and eventually scored 6.5—just 0.5 short of what I needed for U.S. universities.

My three sisters were still in school and Jessica was in preschool. I would often drop her off and pick her up, and occasionally do the same for Nikita and Simran.

I would hang out with Sukhmeet Bedi and Amal, who organized a pool party in Chandigarh. I paid ₹3,000 to perform at the club. A few girls liked it, but the crowd was probably too drunk to pay much attention. Still, it was a fun first pool party.

Through rapper friend, I heard about a Rap War competition at Chitkara University and decided to participate. Amal, Sukhmeet, and I drove there in my Alto. I performed a fast-paced rap that stunned the crowd. Even though the competition was dominated by Punjabi and Hindi rap, I still did well and finished 8th.

On October 14, 2013, I spoke with Grey Matters about my visa application, and they suggested Business Management at Seneca College in Toronto. Sukhmeet and I drove to the Canadian Embassy in Chandigarh and submitted the application on the final filing day.

On December 11, 2013, I found out my visa had been rejected. It was devastating and brought me to tears.

A few days later, Sukhmeet and I went to a barber in Vikas Nagar and completely shaved our heads. Only my sisters knew, while my parents had a hint. One morning, my durag slipped off as my grandfather walked into my room and saw my shaved head. He didn’t speak to me for a week but eventually came around. I regularly dropped him off and picked him up from the Gurudwara and sometimes did Joda Ghar Sewa with him.

Whenever he left for the Gurudwara, I would spend 7–8 hours listening to rap on speakers and practicing. Late at night, I took my microphone to the computer centre to record vocals.

A couple of months later, Seneca College refunded ₹2,50,000 with some deductions. I kept it from my father and spent nearly half on Myntra clothes and shoes, having them delivered to Swati Kaintura’s room near Rishikesh. When my father asked, I told him the remaining amount was the full refund, and he advised me to save it for my next visa application.

My music was gaining attention, and local girls would come around. Amal’s former girlfriend even used one of my songs for a school dance performance. One day, we watched a movie together, and it became my first and only intimate experience with a friend’s ex-girlfriend.

Amal told me he had applied for an Audio Engineering course and was moving to Mumbai soon. Sanjot and I started hanging out almost daily outside his bar, which was right across from my house.

By April–May 2014, I started looking for other immigration consultants. I found agents in Mohali who initially suggested Australia, but after reviewing my file, they advised me to consider New Zealand, saying it would be better for business. I chose Auckland.

The agents applied for an offer letter from Unitec, Mt Albert, for the June intake and received it within days. We arranged the funds, documents, and bank loan papers, but were still ₹1,20,000 short, which was surprisingly covered that same day by selling our Alto.

In June 2014, I paid the college fees, deposited $15,000 FTS funds with ANZ Bank, and applied for a one-year student visa. It was approved in three days, and I was advised to book my Auckland flight immediately.

Drove to New Delhi with my parents and Jessica, stayed overnight at my father’s friend’s place, and they dropped me at the airport the next day.

Auckland: Starting Over

On June 26, 2014, I arrived at Auckland Airport around midnight with $500 cash. I stayed at a backpackers on Queen Street for $25 a night. University started the next morning, and being alone in a big city wasn’t easy.

On my third day, I found a place in Manurewa for $125 a week and shared a room with Romy, whom I had met at Unitec’s international office. The room on Alfriston Road, with a garage and kitchen, was still much better than sharing a backpackers with five strangers. It took a 20-minute morning walk and nearly two hours by train to reach university.

After two weeks, I moved to 6 Chalmers Street in Avondale, just 10–15 minutes from university by train. I had sold my grandmother’s gold chain in Manurewa for $1,000, which I used to buy my first car in Avondale. I also bought my first $1,000 iPad with my NZ$1,250 monthly FTS allowance.

I used all my monthly FTS money to buy gadgets, including a car, a camera, and studio monitors. While living here, I also made my first sale in New Zealand—my Samsung Galaxy phone.

Three months later, Romy helped me find a part-time warehouse job, and I moved in with him, sharing a room on Woodward Street in Mt Albert. With the house only a five-minute walk from university, I started missing classes more often. I spent most of my days making beats, creating around 100 tracks in just three to four months. As my music got louder, however, the homeowner eventually gave me notice to move out.

I kept searching, and for a couple of days stayed at Bir’s place, whom I had met at Unitec through Romy. During my stay, I met his brother, who freestyled over my beats before leaving for India.

Back in Avondale, I found my fourth house, living with a family from Hyderabad, India.

Music, Relationships & Losing Direction

One semester into Business Management, I failed two subjects and decided to switch to a Diploma in Music. My yearly funds had already been settled through the Business course, which my parents had paid upfront along with my FTS. There, I met Sharon, a wealthy girl from Hong Kong who later became my first girlfriend in Auckland. I continued working at the warehouse and used my FTS money to buy an iMac, MacBook and drum kit.

At the music course, I made many new friends, including one who ended up collaborating with 21 Savage. Around this time, I sold my first car and used two months of FTS savings to buy a luxurious $3,200 V6 on Trade Me.

Nine to ten hours of work each week went toward rent, so I found another job at a food delivery company, bringing me to around 18 of my 20-hour weekly allowance.

Bir introduced me to alcohol during our weekend hangouts, while I sometimes invited Sharon over during the day. One night, after partying with Sahil friend from the warehouse, I overslept and lost my delivery job. Within three weeks, I was back to one job.

Low on funds, I decided to sell my V6 Rover for $6,200. Holding $6,000 in cash for the first time felt different. I bought a $650 red coupe without a WOF or REGO through a Trade Me auction. I took a bus to Kerikeri with a battery and drove the car back to Auckland.

I later bought an Audi TT for $5,500 and listed the red coupe for sale. I started driving the Audi to university regularly.

Almost a year into my Diploma in Music, I was losing interest. The regular trip from Henderson to Mt Albert made me skip classes, and I ended up failing two subjects.

Sharon also wanted to move out together because my Hyderabad landlord didn’t like us spending so much time there. After searching for a while, I found a new home at 5/167 Whitney Street with a family from Hong Kong. Sharon wanted me to get engaged and help with her father’s multimillion-dollar business, so we attended business meetings together, as her English wasn’t the strongest.

Around this time, I also extended my visa for another semester after my father sent me $5,000, while a co-worker lent me $7,000 as proof of funds. I also bought a cheap iPhone online, but it was never delivered.

By the end of my third semester, I wasn’t attending university as Sharon and I had already planned my residency. Our relationship took a turn when she revealed she was three months pregnant. She wanted to keep the baby, while I didn’t, and we stopped talking. I later failed all my exams due to my poor attendance.

Already low on funds, I knew my warehouse job would only last as long as my visa. I decided to sell my Audi TT for $5,500, but after the buyer kept negotiating, the sale fell through. Later that night, someone keyed the car. Somehow, I managed to sell it for $5,200 despite the chipped paint. Soon after, I bought a blue hatchback for $2,000.

Another friend from the warehouse had a brother from Ponta Sahib who lived in Christchurch. In March 2016, we flew there to meet him and other people I knew from India. Three days later, back in Auckland, I applied for a tourist visa and received an extension until June 2016.

Snehal, whom I had met there, later moved to Auckland and secretly stayed with me at the Whitney Street home. He drove my car to the warehouse, where I had got him a job, and we ate out together while the landlords remained unaware. Around the same time, I received a letter from New Zealand Immigration ordering me to leave or face deportation. I had no intention of returning, and Snehal encouraged me to stay, lending me $1,000 for expenses. The following month, he returned to Christchurch to sort out some paperwork.

Without a Visa

Now in the country without a valid visa, I had to find ways to make money. I started looking for one-off jobs and talking to girls online, hoping a relationship might help me get a visa.

I worked as a dishwasher at Bikaner for two weeks, but the 12-hour shifts at $7 an hour weren’t sustainable. I sold my hatchback for $2,500 and bought a white sedan for $1,100.

That’s when I met Becka on a dating app. One night, while driving back from Becka’s, the police pulled us over. I got away after saying my visa was under process but was fined $1,500 for having no legal documents. Becka was willing to help me apply for a spouse visa, but after learning about her criminal record, we broke up.

I needed some fresh clothes, and one day I found some cool T-shirts in another tenant’s wardrobe and took them for myself.

After getting an STI and having no money for a check-up, I asked Romy to get me free university medication, but he couldn’t. I sold some PS3 games I found at the house and used the money to buy antibiotics. When I ran out of money for rent, I asked Viny for help, but he refused.

My Unitec friend Filimon introduced me to some guys looking for a place to record. I had the equipment, so I showed them my beats and ended up mixing and mastering their tracks, including “Mission” and “Racks” by Syco on SoundCloud.

I continued partying with Syco, drinking at friends, attending parties in Papatoetoe and beach parties at Piha and Mission Bay, and had my first bong with Sahil.

Living at 5/167 Whitney Street also meant risking an immigration raid, so I needed to move. I sold my white sedan, bought a $900 car and stopped using my bank accounts. Snehal had moved back to Auckland, and our warehouse friend Atif rented a place at 86 Whitney Street. In January 2017, Snehal and I moved in for $80 a week.

I found a four-hour-a-day cleaning job at Avondale College, which was enough to get by.

In February, a warehouse friend I had travelled to Christchurch with introduced me to Bobby. I moved to Otara with Bobby for $100 a week. He had a three-bedroom house leased for six months. “DAMN” was on repeat, and drinks with them became regular. Some friends from Christchurch visited once, leading to freestyle recording sessions. I also spent time jamming with Ankita Dhir, and we became intimate in my $900 car and few other girls.

After getting an STI for the third time, I saw a doctor in Mt Roskill, who prescribed antibiotics and advised me to use condoms.

My Avondale cleaning job moved to ACG Henderson and I also took one-off cleaning jobs with Siju. I was constantly watching for police while driving to ACG 4 hours daily, earning only $40 a day, while Siju paid me every month. During school holidays, we were given a deep-cleaning back at Avondale College for $50 full day. With access to the school keys, I stole a hard drive from a teachers’ room and sometimes ate from the kitchen when I was hungry. When the schools reopened, I was made a supervisor.

One day, after drinking with friends, I skipped work at ACG Henderson and was fired the next day. They refused to pay my remaining $500. Two days later, disguised as a cleaner, I packed 10 iPads into a rubbish bag and drove away. They were iCloud-locked, some I unlocked and sold them as working devices on Facebook. Also a locked iPhone I previously found at Avondale College.

With $1,500 from my sales, I told Sahil, the only person who knew my immigration status, that I was considering marriage to sort out my visa. I later took Adriana to the movies.

When Siju travelled to India for his son’s baptism, he handed his cleaning jobs over to me. On my first day, I drove his van to work and sold a locked Apple Watch to someone in the city as a working device.

Bobby’s lease was expiring, and he wanted us to move out. Knowing I had no stable job or visa, he didn’t offer much help, though he occasionally gave me a hand with my cleaning work and once lent me his car keys. I found his debit card in the car and photographed the details.

While Siju was in India, he let me stay at his place in Wiri, Manukau. I moved there with my belongings in July 2017. When he returned with his family, they moved elsewhere, and our warehouse friend Justin rented the house.

The Road to the Banking Scam

We regularly cleaned one or two houses, and I began stealing bank-card details I found in homes, using them to buy things. I also took items such as a watch, hat, chain and trimmer.

Once, I used Justin’s card details to buy an iPhone that I never collected. After complaints about missing items, Siju found some of the stolen items in my bag. He withheld my salary, and when a uniformed man knocked on the door, I feared the police were investigating. In a week sold my studio monitors and MIDI equipment for cash and left the house.

Later, Sahil and I travelled to Pio Pio for a one-off painting job, where I again found bank-card details in the wallet of the man who hired us.

In November, I moved back to 86 Whitney Street. After my car developed engine trouble, I scrapped it, and Sahil lent me his car until he returned from India. I paid $80 a week, initially sleeping on the couch before moving into a room. I would drop off Atif, sometimes get free kebabs, and rely on Snehal for food while looking for work.

I sold unused gym equipment and a NutriBullet from the garage and used the money to buy FL Studio Producer Edition, then made “Transportin,” my best instrumental at the time.

I spent my free time with Snehal, including a Blessed Movement show on K Road where I met Arash. Around the same time, Atif let a documentary crew use the house for Blessed Movement interviews.

When Sahil returned from India, I gave his car back and learned my old classmate Mayank was also moving over.

After New Year, Atif introduced me to Mudasir, who helped me get a job at a kebab shop on Hobson Street in Auckland Central. The owners were from India, and I was a good fit. I worked from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. for $10 an hour with free meals, but they often paid late, making rent difficult. I started taking $50–$100 notes from the till, pretending to get them changed at nearby shops and keeping part of the change. I also began using stolen bank-card details for online purchases.

Mayank arrived in February 2018, and with enough savings, we planned to move out. An apartment we found turned out to be a scam, so we kept looking. One day, I forgot to turn off the oven while cooking, causing a kitchen fire. Atif decided to move out, and we all stayed in a temporary house for a week.

On April 30, 2018, Mayank found a place on New North Road in Mt Albert. We shared a two-bed room, while another guy from West Bengal occupied the other room.

I was working night shifts when a drunk man left his bag behind with a MacBook and other gadgets, which I sold for money. Another night, I found a wallet containing bank cards and saved the details.

I also started another kebab job at 17B Wakefield Street. I often finished around midnight and sometimes had to walk home. One night, I ran into Ankita Dhir, and we ended up having sex in a park.

Mayank and I spent a lot of time playing FIFA on the PS4 I had stolen from the temporary house in Avondale. Sahil visited on weekends, and on Sundays we played cricket in Avondale. He later moved in with us for a few days.

I had met Zakia before at Pizza Hut, and she would come with Bee to hang out in their car. Once with Bee, I took my passport to send money to India but ended up losing it.

Syco invited me to a Blessed Movement gathering in Mt Roskill, where I met Kourosh, Arash’s brother. I got too drunk to go into town and ended up staying at their friend’s place before returning home next morning.

In my flatmate room, I found her debit card and photographed the details. Needing money to move out, I quietly sold old furniture from the house late at night, and spent my final days sleeping in the lounge.

In January 2019, I moved to a five-bedroom house at 5 Mt Albert Road. My flatmates were Klopp, an Asian guy and a brother from West Bengal from a previous place. I stayed in the small outside room for $120 a week.

The first kebab job had never paid me on time, so I left and continued working only on Wakefield Street. The shifts were long, but I used my free time to write lyrics. Philip John, whom I met at work, gifted me a pair of speakers, which I used for making beats at home. For more accurate sound, I wanted proper studio monitors.

I found an old trimmer in the bathroom and listed it for $50. Later, a flatmate from West Bengal took me into the garage, where we found leftover gaming laptops, PC monitors and other electronics. I moved some into my room at night and sold them, making around $700–$800, which I used to buy $550 iLoud Micro Monitors.

There was another room inside the garage, so the next day I set up a live-tracking camera outside and secretly went back in. I took more boxes into my room, including a 12-pack box of red wine. I discovered a rare Xbox box that was selling for good amount on eBay, along with bulk jewellery, guitars, suitcases and more. Thinking I had hit a jackpot, I gradually sold everything.

I decided to save the money for a music video while using my kebab-job income to cover my bills. Then a toothache became unbearable. With no proper insurance and dental treatment too expensive, I eventually broke the tooth myself.

Around this time, I heard from Rashika Negi, my first-ever girlfriend, that she had moved to New Zealand for her studies, and I went to see her once. While taking the bus to work, I ran into Kourosh, who wanted to catch up later. At work, people often invited me out for drinks and smokes.

Kourosh later asked to stay overnight, which I allowed. A few days later, he returned with a microphone and audio interface, but I didn’t let him stay. He left the equipment with me, and I later learned he was in prison, so his brother Arash came to collect it.

With most of the garage items sold, I looked around the house again. Upstairs, I found boxes in a small cupboard and moved anything valuable into my room. Near the bathroom, I found a large katana sword and sold it on eBay.

A few months later, Kourosh returned from prison with a Louis Vuitton bag and asked me to sell it. I bought it from him for $160 and listed it for $800.

A girl on Facebook agreed to pick up the bag at 6 p.m. the next day, but a teenage boy arrived instead, saying it was for his girlfriend waiting outside. He checked the serial number, put the bag on and walked toward the door. When I stopped him, he pulled out a hammer and swung it at me.

I ran to Klopp’s room and told him what happened. We grabbed a bat and chased after the guy, but couldn’t find him.

Around the same time, I sold a Nike bag to Stanley through Facebook and later learned he was friends with Arash. They both visited me, and I played them my beats, which they really liked. Arash introduced me to Mathew Sheehan, and we started hanging out—playing FIFA, making beats, freestyling and playing football. One day, while I was kicking a ball alone in the driveway, Stanley, Arash and Mathew arrived with Jason Kong, who was a goalkeeper for Manukau FC.

After a FIFA match, Jason showed me videos of his goalkeeping performances, and we became good friends. Mathew and Jason often came over for sessions, usually bringing me free drinks.

With enough money from work and sales, I was able to hang out almost every day. I also got weed for free in exchange for fried chicken. Later, Klopp and I bought a quarter-ounce, which I started selling for extra cash.

I needed new clothes but had run out of cards to use for purchases, so I came up with a way to capture customers’ card details at work. I would record the EFTPOS machine with my iPhone, enter an amount, then cancel the transaction and handle the card until I had captured the details.

Arash had bought a red sedan and, with Stanley, sometimes picked me up from work. Otherwise, I took the last city bus or an Uber. Mathew and Jason would occasionally drive over for quick burgers.

We often went to rooftops, where Arash and Stanley would join us for drinks and freestyle sessions over YouTube beats.

I met several girls through the kebab shop, which helped me become more confident around women. I hung out with Stacey, whom I met at work, freestyled for her and we became intimate.

Lockdown

As 2020 began, tensions between Iran and the US were rising, while news of World War III and COVID-19 spread. On March 25, New Zealand entered its first lockdown. Jobs disappeared, and while employees received subsidies, I had to find my own income because I was paid under the table.

I sold items for rent and food and used collected card details to buy clothes. I also met a woman near 7 Mt Albert Road who introduced me to meditation. After the property closed each evening, I would practice football there at night.

Next to that field was a garage I decided to explore. Around 2–3 a.m., I replaced its lock and took anything sellable in a trolley. Filled my room with random items, with some items hidden under my deck.

Stanley had moved upstairs, and Arash, Jason and Mathew still visited during lockdown. I took MDMA twice for the first time, and we spent much of lockdown drinking, smoking, freestyling and playing football.

Klopp disliked the constant visitors. His facewash disappeared and was later found in my room, while his missing wallet was eventually recovered. I also sold parts of a drum kit (snares & hats) from the kitchen without anyone noticing.

I found a Yamaha upright piano in an empty room, listed it for $4,000 and quickly found a buyer. It was extremely heavy, and I had to make sure no one came out of their rooms while moving it. The buyer helped me push it out the back door, but getting it to the van was another challenge. We used a wooden plank and asked a guy outside for help. Arash had just arrived too, and together we managed to load it into the van. The landlord eventually discovered it missing, confronted us and became suspicious of Klopp.

Klopp began calling me and Stanley’s friends thieves. Tensions finally boiled over when Klopp confronted me about his belongings, knocked my phone away while I recorded and pushed me again in the bathroom, I confronted him outside, and we got into a physical altercation.”

Zakia then came over, and we went to a scrapyard to sell more items I had hidden under my deck.

On May 13, 2020, lockdown was lifted, work resumed, and I started football training with Stanley and Hikmah at Victoria Park.

After work, I ran into a friend, who used to live upstairs. They invited me to a party where I met a few girls. Later, they took me to a guy’s house, where he made a disrespectful gay comment towards me. He soon became heavily intoxicated and passed out. I noticed his iPhone on the floor, put it in my pocket and left.

My kebab-shop owner knew I partied and didn’t like me drinking. One day, he saw me drinking outside the shop after work, and the next morning confronted me, saying I smelled like alcohol. After having enough, I asked him to speak outside and walked away.

Kourosh, back from prison, introduced me to Capo, a rapper from Avondale. We met at my place, where I played him my beats, which he really liked. Later, Mathew and Jason came over and we spent the evening freestyling.

Mathew also told me about an Uber Eats refund trick his sister used to get free food. With my bank accounts shut down and no Visa card, I found Prezzy Visa gift cards and began using multiple cards and PayPal accounts. The trick worked for Uber rides too, sometimes letting me travel around the city for just $1. I loaded $4,000 from the piano sale onto four Prezzy cards and transferred it to my main PayPal.

Things were still tense at 5 Mt Albert Road, so I planned to move out with Mathew in July to avoid cops involvement. We found a room at Mount Terrace Apartments on Mount Street in Auckland CBD. The kitchen and bathroom were shared, but I had my own room, No. 14. The manager, accepted cash, so I paid a $420 two-week bond and $210 rent for the first week.

Two months later, Capo moved onto the fifth floor, followed by Kourosh a month later.

Food was sorted, but I still needed income. After two days at a Turkish kebab shop on K Road where Arash worked, I tried Airbnb and escorting for extra cash, but neither covered the rent. Then I found me a pyramid-ball job at a night market for $80 a week, which lasted a month.

We often hung out around the Turkish kebab shop, Victoria Park and nearby rooftops, drinking, smoking, freestyling and playing football with Jason, Mathew, Arash, Stanley and Capo. I also tried magic mushrooms once and, after losing my keys, ended up sleeping on a stranger’s couch.

I started exploring Auckland University after finding an open entrance on Wakefield Street. went inside and found a packed marquee, which I took back to my apartment. The next day, I returned and noticed more unattended items. Mathew came with me, and we took drinks from the university kitchen. He told me staff only posted on Facebook when something was stolen.

Over the next few days, I kept returning, taking webcams and walkie-talkies from different halls. I noticed iMac’s secured with small chains, but we abandoned the idea of breaking them. Later, I entered staff rooms and took around 10–12 laptops worth over $10,000, along with about seven audio interfaces. When a cleaner entered, I sat at a Mac pretending to study while she ignored the screws scattered on the floor.

With Capo, Mathew and Kourosh, I explored another part of the university, when they left. I entered a study room, pretended to be a student and, once students left, took two laptops and a phone. I hid everything under my bed in a suitcase, and the stolen items eventually totaled over $25,000. A walkie-talkie sold for $500 the same day.

I wanted to save for music videos, studio time and promotion, believing it could help me break into the music industry, while also paying back my father’s $10,000 education loan.

Sometimes I would sell things for around $80–$100 on Facebook but never post them. Since I didn’t have a bank account, the money from the sales would go into Stacey’s bank account. She would then transfer it to my PayPal, and I would give her a small amount for helping me.

Because the amounts were small, buyers rarely complained to the bank. I would blame NZ Post for the delivery failure and tell them they should have chosen tracked shipping. In the worst-case scenario, I would refund them, usually around half the amount, such as $40. I did this a few times and made around $1,000 through Stacey’s ANZ bank account.

I told Mathew downstairs how I was making money without actually selling the items and asked if he knew people who could provide bank accounts. I offered to split the earnings with him and his mate, while keeping the other half. He said he’d check his contacts. I estimated that 20 accounts a week could bring in around $800, divided equally between us.

The Banking Scam

A couple of days later, while walking around my room with Mathew sitting there, I came up with an idea for a larger banking scam: what if my buyer sent the money to someone selling an item for the exact same amount, who would see the payment as genuine and hand the item over to me?

I started browsing lots of items on eBay and saving their pictures, then used separate fake Facebook accounts to list them as if I had them. I would deliberately set a distant pickup location so buyers would choose shipping. When a buyer needed a bank account to make the payment, I would find a similar item from another seller for the same price and use that seller’s account for the payment. I would quickly collect the item and resell it for less on my “Meco Nace” page. This became my new way of making money.

The locked iPhone I took from that guy at the party sold for $1,000 as a working phone, so I dropped it off in North Shore before going clubbing. Despite having no ID, I somehow got into Cassette Club every time.

On October 17, 2020, I left the club intoxicated and approached a guy from Mt Roskill who said he knew Syco from Blessed Movement. I asked him for weed, and he and three friends led me to their car.

They drove onto the motorway, where I realized something was wrong. When I asked what was happening, they threatened me and demanded my phone. On Hobson Street, they punched me few times, took everything from my pockets and warned me not to shout or run. The driver eventually told them to let me go, and I walked home around 1 a.m.

The next day, I bought a cheap iPhone and got back to selling. I took a break from drinking and smoking and started going to clubs sober with Arash.

Arrest & Court

On October 27, 2020, I planned another round at AUT. Around 8 a.m., after Stacey left, I heard a knock at my door—it was the NZ police. They confirmed my name and arrested me. They found almost everything I had stolen from the university under my bed, except the walkie-talkies, and took some of my personal belongings until I could prove they were mine.

Detective Billy questioned me about the thefts and my undocumented status. After a few hours in custody, I was charged with six offences and released with a warning to stay away from the university. I was due to appear in court two days later.

At my first court date at Auckland District Court, I attended with Arash, Capo, Mathew and Kourosh. I met Carole, a Legal Aid officer, who arranged a free lawyer and suggested she could help me apply for a refugee visa. My case was adjourned.

I then created a Gmail account under a fake name and began my first banking scam. I bought an iPhone 8 from a woman in North Shore, then resold it on Facebook

Soon, I was making one or two trades almost every day, and money started flowing in. I could repay my education loan to my father while saving for songs about the story I was building. I created more accounts under different names and travelled by bus or train, sometimes asking Stacey for a ride when pickups were far away.

I became focused on making money and spent less time with friends, though I still regularly played football at Victoria Park.

On February 16, 2021, my sister Nikita got married to Gurkirat. I couldn’t attend the wedding because of my ongoing court cases. Nevertheless, they got married and began their life together.

As my second court date approached, I was assigned Masumi as my lawyer who was blind. At the hearing, the judge dropped four charges and put the remaining case on hold until August 18, 2021.

Masumi suggested completing Salvation Army hours to help with my sentence. Stacey and Kourosh wrote character letters, while I gathered the required documents and letters and forwarded everything to him for the next hearing.

On August 17, 2021, another major lockdown began, and my court hearing was delayed. I used the extra time to explore ways to stay in New Zealand, but a refugee visa didn’t suit me because it would prevent me from returning to India. After speaking with my family, they advised me to either work things out or come home.

Two months later, the lockdown ended. By then, my parents knew about my court cases, and my mother wanted to send me money for support. Since I didn’t have a bank account, she sent $1,000 to Rashika, who was working at the mall in New Market, Auckland. Capo and I went to collect it. He also sold me his MPC for $200, despite it costing over $3,000; it only had a sound issue.

Capo often gave me free weed and we made beats together. One night while high, I watched a star suddenly move downward, which sparked my curiosity about aliens. I became increasingly isolated, leaving mainly to make sales or pick things up by bus or train. I barely saw the boys for months. In December, Masumi told me I would receive a new court date, but it was delayed again. I also learned Mathew had left for America.

The Decision to Leave New Zealand

In January 2022, I discovered the story of an ageless yogi, Tat Wale Baba Ji, from Rishikesh, which inspired me to return to India. I had saved over $7,000 from the banking scam, so I finally made my decision and told my parents.

My father told me about the $9,000 education loan pressure from the bank. To clear my mind, Jason and I took a road trip from Auckland to Wellington, spending the first night in his car and the next in an Airbnb. We also did two days of football training near the Wellington Phoenix training ground.

A few days later, Masumi told me my sentencing was set for March 31, 2022. I told him about my decision, and he supported it. On the day, I was sentenced to 100 hours of community service or deportation. I chose deportation and contacted New Zealand Immigration.

To save on rent, I decided to leave 33 Mount Street and said goodbye to Capo, Arash and Kourosh. I soon found a new place at 147 Hobson Street for $160 a week.

On May 1, 2022, I called Stacey, who helped me move out. I kept some unsold electronics to sell later, and we took a final ride to Waiuku beach and saw unbelievable amount of stars in the night sky. Pratap from Nepal and another guy from Indonesia were my new flatmates.

Pratap thought I was selling drugs and repeatedly asked me for weed. After I refused several times, he started making noises against the wall next to my room. One day, after another loud bang, I punched him in the kitchen and we ended up fighting on the couch. Security arrived after our other flatmate saw us struggling and told us to return to our rooms.

The next day, Pratap confronted me again, pulled my door open and punched me. He jumped onto my bed, so I defended myself and asked him to leave. He returned carrying what looked like pliers and threatened to use them if I fought back.

I called the police, then met Jason at Victoria Park. Later, while walking outside in the freezing cold, we noticed another strange light in the sky before heading to the university library. Police eventually arrived and advised me to speak with the landlord. Jason left around 2 a.m., and I went to the casino before Ankita arranged an Uber so I could stay at her place.

On June 1, 2022, my landlord offered me a room at 189 Hobson Street for $180 per week. I moved in, sold the remaining electronics, including the MPC Live for $800, and continued making money through scams. I had saved over $7,500 and sent $1,650 to my father toward the remaining loan.

One time hanging out with Zakia in her BMW I saw an UFO in North Shore. To get food walking along Hobson Street, I ran into Hetal, my former coworker from the first kebab shop. I sometimes helped her close park gates in North Shore. I continued noticing strange lights in the sky, and one night while lying in bed with Hetal, I felt a strange sensation in my chest that I associated with the UFO I had seen.

On July 28, 2022, I contacted Daniel Passingham from New Zealand Immigration, who was arranging my deportation. He advised me to apply for a emergency travel document so they could book my flight to India. I received my temporary passport two weeks later and gave my landlord notice to leave on August 30.

Hetal arranged a free place for me to stay in Avondale until my departure. On September 11, 2022, Hetal and Philip John came over, who dropped me at Auckland City Airport, and I flew back to India.

Coming Home

After 8.3 years, I finally arrived at New Delhi Airport. I cleared customs and took a taxi to Sigma Road in Mohali, Punjab, which my father had booked for me. At first, the way people drove felt strange, but within a week I had gotten used to it.

That evening, I saw my mother, who looked like she had gained some weight. I wondered what she had been through during all those years. I touched her feet, hugged her, and went inside our second-floor apartment. After my sisters Simran and Nikita left for Canada, my mother was alone and needed support. My father had also recently survived a heart attack, making me realise I needed to focus on my family.

I gifted my mother an Apple Watch, and when she told me she wanted to start working at a gold company, I asked her to wait.

Jessica was in Ponta Sahib, so I decided to leave in the first week of November. My father picked me up, and after greeting him, I exchanged my $5,500 NZD cash and gave him all the money to pay the loan. We visited Gurkirat’s family, my sister’s marital home, before leaving for Ponta Sahib around 8 p.m. My mother came with us and stayed at Ramesh’s house, my father’s business partner.

My first steps back in Ponta Sahib home felt like a real-life dream. Jessica was asleep when I entered her room, but after I kissed her, she woke up and asked, “Is it a dream?” before going back to sleep. The next day, I met Nisha Aunty, my father’s new wife, and Waheguru Ji, my god-grandfather, then reunited with Sanjot, Abhikaran and Gullu. I also played football with my neighbour and bought 10 grams of hash through Sukhmeet.

I got my new SIM, driving licence, Aadhaar, PAN card and bank accounts. Around my birthday on 23 November 2022, Swati Kaintura’s mother called about their daughter’s marriage, so we drove to Rishikesh. My father dropped me at his godbrother Ram Chacha’s Himalayan Yog Ashram, and two days later I went to our village, Khadri, Shyampur.

After 12 years, I reunited with Swati Kaintura, Ashwani Kaintura and their family for the marriage, I helped with the preparations and attended the three-day wedding.

I booked a hostel in Laxman Jhula, Rishikesh, and Ashwani arranged a ride for me. At Sananya Homestay, I found a room for ₹13,000 a month and moved into a third-floor room. I still felt the strange chest sensation, which seemed alien related. I mostly stayed home but visited the Ganga Ghat under Laxman Jhula Bridge and Tat Wale Baba’s cave, one of the places I had planned to visit.

A month later, I picked up Jessica from Paonta, showed her around on my flatmate’s scooter and took her hiking. She stayed until 4 January 2023, after which my mother joined me for a few days. I then took her to Khadri, Shyampur, for the eating ceremony of my father’s godbrother’s father, who had died weeks earlier.

In February 2023, I returned to Mohali, Punjab. My father bought a Scorpio for ₹23,00,00 and gave me his 2013 Hyundai Verna. I mostly stayed home making beats and finding my sound, apart from attending a neighbour’s marriage in April and occasionally driving my mother to the salon. During the summer break, Jessica came to Chandigarh.

June 2023, I drove Jessica back to Ponta Sahib and decided to stay longer. One day, while washing my car, I ran into Tarun, whom I hugged and made plans to meet later. I also spent time with Sanjot and his friends. The following month, as I was preparing to leave for Mohali, my grandfather fell badly in the bathroom and couldn’t get up for two hours until my father found him. We took him to Shri Siddhivinayak Hospital, which referred him to PGI Chandigarh.

Losing My Grand Father

We booked an ambulance to PGI, and I drove there with my father and Ramesh Sir. The hospital was chaotic, with people sleeping outside waiting for their numbers, but through a contact we quickly secured a bed. Doctors recommended surgery and kept my grandfather there for several days. Afterward, his platelet count dropped, and we brought him food from Mohali. I stayed with him for a two days, my mother for a few more, but mostly my father cared for him.

I remember walking in front of him with my hair open for the first time and touching his feet, but he gently pushed me away without blessing me. He was soon discharged and my father took him home, while I stayed in Mohali. His condition continued to worsen.

On August 28, 2023, my father called saying he wouldn’t survive and was calling my name. I quickly packed my bags and drove from Chandigarh to Ponta Sahib around 8:30 p.m. By the time I arrived around 11 p.m., he had passed away and was kept in a frozen container.

The next day, many local people, along with relatives from Amritsar and Rishikesh, came to pay their respects. Before his cremation, I touched his feet one last time and joined my hands. We later organised an Akhand Path and langar in his memory at the Gurudwara in Ponta Sahib, attended by many relatives.

In September, I returned to Mohali. I bought concentrated hemp cannabis oil and smoked it in a vape. The high was intense, and I produced three of the most legendary beats I had ever made, while my father and mother were still at home.

On September 13, 2023, Dad and I picked up Bua Ji from Jalandhar and drove to Beas, Amritsar, for Krishna Janmashtami, the place where my god-grandfather had been born and raised.

Later that afternoon, we visited Jallianwala Bagh. Inside, I felt something difficult to explain. Near the famous small temple, we saw a parrot strangled by the aerial roots of a tree. People tried to save it, but the roots kept choking it, almost as if the tree were alive and sending a message.

We stayed at the hotel with Bua Ji, Dad and Tauji from Naushehra, and visited the Golden Temple the next day before driving back to Mohali. Dad left for Ponta Sahib while I stayed behind.

On October 24, 2023, Amal flew from Mumbai to Chandigarh Airport. I went to pick him up, and although he had a taxi booked to Paonta that night, I decided to go with him. Dad was also planning to buy a silver Toyota Hyryder Hybrid the next day, which I drove, but the fully automatic feel wasn’t for me, so Amal and I mostly hung out in my Hyundai Verna and scored hash from one of the dealers.

On the way back, I ran into Karanjeet, who had saved me during the brawl on my last exam day. We exchanged numbers and planned to meet.

At home, I practiced Test cricket on the VR headset with an IB Cricket bat and practiced with the camera for my videos, taking plenty of photos along the way. Evenings were usually spent with Amal and Sanjot or at home.

Nisha aunty seemed unhappy about me being there, so after repeatedly finding hair in the food she cooked, I finally approached her about it.

I used to chill with our tenants’ kids and Jessica in the empty rooms outside the main house. Around this time, the on-and-off sensations in my chest became more intense, though I felt certain they were being controlled by something, also twitching and poking around the body. A doctor who saw patients lived on the ground floor below us, and a medical store had replaced our old candy shop at the front. I believed it was alien technology but kept quiet about it.

I began researching and found videos of people describing UFO sightings, encounters with aliens, and the suffering they believed followed. For the first time, I also felt an intense depressive energy that I believed wasn’t mine. Everything around me started feeling dark, and I felt people were playing mind games with me or were after our property and money. I came to believe that extraterrestrials were controlling people through their minds, could read and insert thoughts, and they even knew about the banking scam.

At the homestay where Yonathan Toppo had lived, I noticed some foreign-looking men who gave me the impression they knew what I was doing or planning, almost as if they were warning me or wanted something. I never approached them.

On November 12, 2023, Diwali filled the area with firecrackers. We didn’t celebrate because of a death in the family, but hearing and seeing Diwali again after so long was an experience.

While playing VR cricket one day, I smashed my hand against the wall. I noticed the man I had been seeing on the balcony gesture as if he already knew what had happened, which made me research extraterrestrials even more. Through YouTube videos, I became convinced I had found evidence that they existed and were not acting in humanity’s best interests.

I wanted to share these experiences but never felt it was the right time. Meanwhile, I kept practising with the camera every day, sometimes speaking about what was happening and other times simply making music-video practice clips.

In the first week of January 2024, I spoke with family from Chinyalisour, Uttarakhand, and we planned to meet at Dhari Devi Temple. We drove there while they met us at the location. It turned into a fun trip, with two of our tenants’ kids joining us. We stayed in Chinyalisour that night, played cricket the next day, and visited an old sadhu’s cave near the Himalayas.

We stayed another night before leaving the following morning for Ponta Sahib. Nisha aunty was home, we had dinner, and I slept in my god-grandfather’s room.

On January 19, 2024, Jessica called Dad around 9 p.m. to pick her up from a friend’s house. Since the cars were parked inside, he walked there. On their way back, they stopped for groceries, and just outside Bank Colony, they were hit by a bike riding on the wrong side of the road. Both fell unconscious.

A neighbour saw it, and I heard a loud bang and a woman shouting that Jessica had been hit. I started the car and followed them to the nearby hospital. Jessica had a large bruise above her left eye but was walking normally, while Dad had injuries to his thigh and arms. But her seizures wouldn’t stop, so she was referred to Synergy Hospital in Dehradun. Dad went in the ambulance while I followed in the Verna.

At Synergy, I confronted the nurses over how they were handling her. The doctor said her condition was critical and admitted her to ICU. We couldn’t see her for a day, with Dad sleeping at the hospital and me in the car. She improved slightly the next morning, and Mom and others from Chinyalisour arrived. The doctor suggested surgery, which I questioned, but they later decided to discharge her.

I stayed that night with Ashwani Kaintura in Rishikesh before we returned home. Jessica continued having hand pain and stayed out of school for a while, when back I helped with her school rides.

In March 2024, Jessica gave her 7th-year final exams, and I drove her to Mom’s place in Mohali for the holidays, where we had a good time and did some freestyles together. On April 12, I dropped her back in Ponta Sahib and returned to Mohali.

On May 28, Dad, Jessica and I drove to New Delhi Airport to pick up Simran Chahal, who had come to India for a yoga certification. We stayed overnight before returning to Mohali, surprising Jessica. Simran also brought me an Insta360 X2 camera.

Rishikesh & Rediscovering Myself

Ram Chacha at Himalayan Yog Ashram arranged her June batch, so on June 1 we left for Rishikesh. Just outside Panchkula, the car’s clutch failed. We had it towed to Hyundai, Dad arrived, and we found a second-hand clutch hose pipe in Manimajra, fitted it, and continued towards Rishikesh.

We reached Ponta Sahib around 7 p.m., and on Shyam Chacha’s advice left at 5:30 a.m. the next morning, reaching Tapovan, Rishikesh around 7:30 a.m.

I had planned to leave that afternoon, but while at Ram Chacha’s room, Mom called and encouraged me to take the course with Simran so she would have company. Dad also offered to pay, so I parked my car with someone we knew and enrolled in the 200-hour yoga teacher training.

For 23 days, our routine began at 5:30 a.m., with Pranayama, yoga exercises, Ayurveda, Yoga Philosophy, afternoon yoga and Yog Nidra. After class, I often played cricket with local kids.

I also noticed a very tall girl at a homestay who seemed almost otherworldly, with what I perceived as soulless, reptilian eyes. I mentioned her to Simran, and the next day I saw her standing beside the door as if she knew what I had been thinking.

Midway through the course, I had lunch with Carlott and Flavia and saw the same woman again at the café, standing beside me, though we never spoke. I took Carlott and Flavia shopping around Laxman Jhula and to the Ganga Ghat, visited the Beatles Ashram with Udit, and also went to a secret waterfall and Kunjapuri Temple to watch the sunset.

On June 23, 2024, I gave my final exam and received the certificate. The next morning, I hugged Carlott goodbye, took Simran to our village in Khadri, Shyampur, met Ram Chacha’s and Swati Kaintura’s family, and left for Ponta Sahib.

Mom wanted to visit her birthplace, Bhenti, Uttarakhand, for a personal wish, so along with her, Dad, Simran, Jessica and I drove there. On the way back, Dad lost his water bottle and a heated argument followed, with him blaming me for wasting the money he had spent on me in New Zealand. I got out with my bag and walked off, but soon returned. We decided they would drop me in Rishikesh and contacted our connections for a room.

Ashwani’s uncle in Tapovan found me a room for ₹11,000, with a ₹1,000 discount. I moved in on July 1, and Mom stayed with me briefly before leaving. I mostly remained inside, only going out for food.

About a month later, Dad received a Club Mahindra package for three nights at Binsar Villa in Almora. Simran, Jessica and I went together.

In August, Simran flew back to Canada while Sukhmeet Bedi returned to India. I went to Ponta Sahib to meet him, and after ten years apart, we started hanging out regularly. He introduced me to another Hindi rapper, Mighty. We drove back to Rishikesh for a late-night drive through the Tehri mountains, followed by dinner and lunch the next day. Sukhmeet later left with his friends, and I dropped Mighty at the bus stop.

After Sukhmeet returned to Canada, I became sick, which at the time I believed was caused by extraterrestrials. Once I felt better, I recorded numerous GoPro freestyles over beats from the internet and posted some on Facebook profile.

I also practised Test cricket on my VR headset on the rooftop, worked on my music mastering skills, and meditated occasionally. During the Kanwar Yatra, I saw the roads packed with bikes and people, with barely any space to walk.

On October 22, 2024, Dad organised a Parbhat Pheri, so I packed two bags and left for Ponta Sahib. On the way, I felt a sharp pain on the right side of my chest, which I believed was being deliberately triggered. I recorded my thoughts and freestyles on the GoPro.

After the parbhat pheri, Dad asked me to deliver some boxes to a factory on the way back. Bought hash beforehand, and after getting high, I became convinced our employee with me was trying to set me up to steal from my bags. Google Maps kept sending us in circles until we finally found the location, calls wouldn’t connect. Near the Himachal-Haryana border, a car with heavily tinted windows stopped, which I interpreted as another warning from extraterrestrials. The destination turned out to be a medicine factory, which seemed significant to me at the time.

I reached Mohali and told Mom, though I don’t think she fully understood, while Dad took it lightly. I stayed there for about a month and a half, recording freestyle videos and posting two on Facebook profile. Shortly after my birthday on November 22, I left for Rishikesh.

My rent and groceries were covered by Dad, so I didn’t have to worry about expenses.

Back in Rishikesh, Nikita filed for divorce, and her mother-in-law regularly called asking me to convince her to withdraw it, saying they had paid her tuition and travel expenses to Canada. Nikita denied owing the money and said she could only help her spouse Gurkirat, with a work visa. The dispute continued for about a month until both families met at our Mohali home and settled the money matter.

From my balcony, I noticed people at a nearby café behaving as if they already knew me and my story. Some would gesture or wave, and it became a regular occurrence. Strangely, the café had only opened around the time I moved to Tapovan.

In January 2025, my family considered buying land near Tapovan, Rishikesh area. Mom visited me for a few days, and we looked at several places, but nothing suited Dad’s plans. Since only Uttarakhand residents could purchase certain land there, we put the idea on hold, while Dad placed the money from the recently sold Dhalipur land into a fixed deposit.

I continued improving my music mastering skills, and Dad promised to buy me a portable studio booth for professional recordings. I also discussed videos with Kirat and Ashwani Kaintura when they visited. Ashwani brought me some hash, sometimes bought dried cannabis leaves from a man near Laxman Jhula.

On Wednesdays and Saturdays, Ashwani’s paternal uncle’s MVT Guesthouse & Restaurant held famous Kirtans, which I attended for the first time. I spoke with some girls there, as I often did while walking around Tapovan, and once even performed freestyles for the Kirtan girls.

By February, I felt ready to record professional vocals, so I contacted a couple of studio builders. Dad also came to Rishikesh with a spare key after my car had been parked for so long that its key battery died. We drove to Haridwar for Ganga Jal and spoke with my brother from Chinyalisour, who lived in Dehradun and played cricket at Mams Academy in Shyampur on Sundays.

The following Sunday, I joined him for bowling practice and bowled continuously for four to five hours. After the session, I returned to Tapovan, but my whole body was so sore the next day that I could barely move. I spent the day in bed and remained exhausted into the following day.

On March 6, 2025, after speaking with Mom, I walked towards Laxman Jhula to buy dried cannabis. On the way, two people asked me about an Anantya Hotel, and I later walked towards the Ganga, where I watched the sun and met a man playing harmonica, which he let me try.

I returned to a sadhu’s usual spot on Sach Dam Road, hoping he was awake, but he was still sleeping. When I quietly greeted him, a man from a nearby food stall angrily confronted me. I told him to mind his business, but he became aggressive and threatened to hit me. When he moved towards me, I swung and hit him twice. I was then struck from behind and knocked down as several people began hitting me. I managed to get up and create some distance, but around 20–30 people had gathered, some carrying sticks. Eventually the attacks stopped, and I walked away after signalling that I was willing to face them one-on-one. I had no major injuries, only a minor sprain in my left leg.

At the time, I connected the incident to the extraterrestrial groups I believed were trying to contact me and keep their existence secret. I wasn’t sure if the confrontation was deliberately arranged to silence me, as I had heard stories on YouTube about them threatening people who tried to expose them.

On March 8, I attended the MVT Kirtan again and met a girl from Croatia who spoke about a chameleon-like presence moving through bodies. I also met a woman from Kent, UK, who was travelling with her husband and said they had been there for a year and were leaving the next day. I exchanged Instagram details with both and invited the Croatian girl over, but she declined.

I had stopped going towards Laxman Jhula, but returned for the Kirtan on March 15 and saw the woman from the UK again. She seemed to be sending me messages, though I didn’t understand them. Behind me was Nashua Unforgettable, a rapper and video creator. We spoke, and later went to Laxman Jhula Ganga Ghat, where I shared some of my New Zealand story with him.

Back at my room, I asked if he could help with some music videos and offered to pay him. I played him some beats, and he liked them and wanted to collaborate. He left the next day.

At Green Yogi Detox near our gate, I often noticed a woman who gave me the impression she knew about me. One day, while getting a smoothie, I felt she was signalling that she couldn’t speak while another man was there.

Building the Studio

I decided to return to Mohali and build my own studio. On March 23, 2025, I left Tapovan for Ponta Sahib and met Hindi rapper Mighty. He suggested starting a Paonta cypher channel for regular freestyles, which I liked, though my priority was setting up a professional studio at our Mohali home.

We recorded a couple of cyphers, which he uploaded to “cypher17paonta” on Instagram. I also met Sanjot for drinks at his hotel, where he encouraged me to set up the studio there.

Jessica’s school was also moved to Mohali, so in April 2025 we moved there, and I decided to stay with Mom and Jessica for a while.

Dad visited, and we checked studio builders in Mohali and New Delhi. Quotes ranged from ₹80,000 for a portable cabin to ₹20,00,00 for a full room setup. For temporary use, I built a small booth with acoustic panels and foam, but later found a Porso Portable Vocal Recording booth for ₹65,000, which Dad paid for.

I also dropped Jessica at school while Mom filmed me on the iPhone 15 Pro, producing surprisingly good footage. She began making videos from her film shoots and modelling shows, which I edited into vlogs to improve my editing skills and uploaded to her Ashley Rana YouTube channel.

My videographer friend, was impressed with the iPhone 15 Pro footage and recommended Yamaha HS monitors. The following month, I bought Yamaha HS3 monitors and set them up in my small studio.

With the studio and monitors ready, I began listening to beats in a studio environment and chose one built around my melody and Ayeshmantha’s drums. I freestyled over it and created “New Heat,” recorded on June 26, 2025, expressing my view that rap had become dull and that I was back to create something fresh. I spent the next 30 days perfecting the master.

Due to low-budget, Mom filmed me over a couple of days. Around the same time, Amal travelled from Mumbai to renew his passport, and since I needed to renew mine too, we decided to do it together. I picked him up from the Airport, met Ankit Sharma in Mohali, and booked a next-day appointment at the Shimla passport office.

Since my old passport had been lost in New Zealand, Amal helped me prepare the documents. After only an hour of sleep, we left at 4 a.m. and reached Shimla around 8:30am.

At 10:30am had an interview with the passport officer. Despite the lost passport complication, the staff accepted my file, took my photo and sent it for processing. Amal had an issue with his father’s name and had to return later.

I had already started editing the “New Heat” video, and Amal gave me some ideas after seeing the opening. He soon left for Ponta Sahib and received his passport, while mine was delayed. After emailing the passport office, I was asked to provide an FIR for the lost passport, which Dad arranged.

On August 12, 2025, Dad and I left for the passport office in Shimla. Unable to sleep, I edited the video through the night. The next morning, after submitting the required documents and waiting three to four hours, my application was cleared and sent for printing.

We left for Mohali around 3 p.m., then travelled to Beas, Amritsar the next morning for a Gurudwara path in my grandfather’s memory and Krishna Janmashtami. I met relatives from Punjab and Uttar Pradesh for the first time, stayed two nights, and continued editing. On the way back, I filmed some road shots for the video.

New Heat, Root & Password

I released “New Heat” on streaming platforms on August 27, 2025, then spent another three weeks finishing the music video, which was released on September 21.

During Diwali, Jessica and I went to Ponta Sahib for five or six days. On the way back, the car broke down at the Himachal-Haryana border, so we booked a taxi to Mohali and had it towed to Hyundai in Ponta Sahib.

Back home, my mother’s friend brought a box of inexpensive beers, which I drank regularly for about two weeks while listening to music and relaxing. I continued sharpening my video-editing skills through Mom’s vlogs and soon began managing her YouTube channel.

With my mother, I watched the entire BR Chopra Mahabharata series. I also watched movies every day, paying close attention to how camera angles, cuts, and scenes were put together.

For my birthday in November, Mom planned to give me her iPhone 15 Pro. She had over 1,000 videos, which I edited into around 35–40 short and long-form films in two weeks. After backing them up to her iCloud, I formatted the phone for my use.

While searching for beats, I found one on Instagram and recorded a freestyle after the producer sent me a sample. He liked it, but the beat was already registered to another track, so the deal fell through. I decided to make the song on my own beat instead, using a melody sample I had created in Auckland and mixing it with another drum pattern I had made there.

Mastering “Root” took over a month, and I released it on February 8, 2026. The track reflected how I was slowly spreading my name by experimenting with beats and flows. I finished editing its video in mid-February and uploaded it to YouTube on February 22.

For the banking scam reveal, I built a new beat from a sample I had created in Auckland, with parts added in Ponta Sahib and Mohali. I layered kicks and percussion, then started scatting until I found the catchy flow. I wrote the lyrics in March and recorded them throughout April, doing around 50 takes. On April 30, while Mom and Jessica were out watching a Michael Jackson movie, I recorded the final take.

From May to mid-June, I polished the mix and master, finally finishing it on June 19 around 6:30 p.m. During the last week of June, I shot the music video with Mom’s help, and began editing on June 29. Three weeks later, it was ready.

I wanted to reveal the song and story from abroad, so Dubai seemed like the right place. Mom’s friend helped with the UAE visa, and she took a loan to give me ₹10,00,00, plus ₹50,000 for visa processing. I received my two-month travel visa in mid-July. On July 28 at around 2:30 p.m., my parents dropped me at the airport, and I landed in Dubai at 7:55 p.m. A film-producer friend of Mom from Gujarat also helped by letting me stay for free in her two-bedroom apartment in Ajman.

Now, on August 15, 2026, I’m waiting for “Password” to be released on August 23. I titled it Password.

The song reflects me flowing like a river through the jungle, into the Amazon rainforest, while my money from the banking trick is like endless leaves growing on its trees. The Amazon represents the world itself—vast, alive, and constantly moving.

After “New Heat,” where I stepped in to save the industry, and “Root,” where I mastered beat-making by spreading out sheets and stems to create distinct sounds, “Password” is where I found my word—my voice, my style, and where my track finally formed.

Now I’m passing that word out.

The password is revealed.